“It’s the hardest times that make us grow the most.”
Recently I have experienced my most feared emotion… Rejection. It’s absolutely the toughest pill to swallow, to accept and to process. When I was initially rejected I was numb but in a turn of events, I was relieved. A light wave of happiness washed over me to make me feel like for every bad thing there is a good thing that follows. Something told me that I shouldn’t fear or be sad that what I had prayed for most wasn’t going to happen.
In the depths of my rejection, I lost myself. I lost my smile. Even the wave couldn’t quite squelch the pain. I still had to process why I wasn’t accepted and why even when I try my hardest it still isn’t enough. I was raging. There had to be a mistake.
But I realized that maybe I wasn’t meant for that. Fate had other plans. God wasn’t closing the door he was just leading me towards a new one and maybe he was really helping me to feel something I may feel for a while. And maybe he is trying to tell me to listen to my heart and to not silence the screams within in me. I believe he has a master plan for me and he had to show me pain to make me see that I need to follow what I want most and not settle because I deserve it. He also brought me my love with a beautiful bouquet to remind me I’m special and my smile couldn’t hide anymore.