Finding Happiness

Life is a constant journey of finding our soul’s purpose. It’s our one mission or job in this life. For some people, they find their purpose at a really early age and for the others it takes some time. I’m currently with the latter. Although I can’t always say that I felt that way. From a pretty early age I felt that I had deep connections to things that I thought would lead me to my soul purpose in life. Those two main things were reading and writing. I’ve loved to read and write for as along as I can remember. Reading is just who I am. It’s a part of what I am made out of and the same goes for writing. They basically go hand in hand. Sadly, I’ve only had time to read more than write. Writing gets a bad rap because we all relate writing to homework and school essays. But true and genuine straight from the heart and soul writing is what I live for.

In these days of still struggling to find my purpose, I’m still clinging to reading and writing because they are all I know. They are the only things that I feel I am good at in this life. And I don’t mean in a mediocre way. They are the only things that I feel my soul genuinely reach for. And at one point in my life I thought that my writing and love for books was going to get me where I wanted to be in life. But the sad reality is they haven’t brought me my purpose and I’m still on my soul searching journey.

Recently, I’ve had one of those moments where you reflect on your life and where you are at. And I can tell you it’s not fun and it gets emotional but it’s a necessary evil. What I learned is that I’m letting other people dictate my life. I’m allowing other people’s thoughts and ideas about how to “live” my life effect the one life I’m trying to live and that’s MY OWN LIFE. The one that is 100% genuinely and authentically my own life. I  know there are some fundamental needs in life that are necessary in order to survive and that the easiest way to achieve that is to get a typical 9-5. But the thought of getting that “typical job,” and slave to the clock literally makes my soul cry. And it’s not because I don’t like to work. I love to work when it’s for something I love! Because as the saying goes, “When you do what you love, you never work a day in your life.” That’s truly what I’m aiming for. A life fully and authentically myself where I can be happy no matter what the circumstances may be.

In these moments of finding whatever it is I’m looking for, I knew my happiness was being wiped away because of the harsh society that we live in. Why should any of us judge anyone on how they want to live their own life? Of course that’s not to say you should just be floating through life like a log or being reckless. Because we all have this mission on this earth and that’s to find the life that makes us happy. And for each one of us that’s a totally different thing and I truly believe that one day I’m going to find total happiness where all aspects of my life match up. For now, I’m going to smile at those that bring me down or those that silently, or not so silently, judge me and my life. Because until you have walked a day in my shoes don’t for a second think that you know anything about me or my life. You can’t possibly know about the hours I spent trying to find this life I’m supposed to live and how many tears I’ve shed over the countless rejections I’ve received. Everyone has a different journey on this planet and we all deserve to walk the journey happy.





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